how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
