i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
