you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
