Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
