I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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