its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
