Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
