Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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