the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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