You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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