video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
bring money and cleavage
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize