He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize