So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
