new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize