i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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