yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
