If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
