i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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