ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
