This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
