you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
