i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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