census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
