he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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