Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize