i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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