I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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