D3 body, D1 cock
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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