Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
