The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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