I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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