the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
