just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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