I'm gonna have a badass scar
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
