Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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