Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
