I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
