For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize