She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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