i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
