The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
