you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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