I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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