apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
This is my gift to your gina
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
