i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
