so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
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