At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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