do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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