she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my being single is dangerous.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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