i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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