I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
