I want to make a zoo with you.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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