found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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