my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
