we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
