is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
