Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
