I wannas sexs uuuuu
I didn't shave. On purpose
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You are a booty call, not a friend.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
