he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
